Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
