Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
