I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
