I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
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