I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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