My brain says no but my pants say off.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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