she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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