bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
