1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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