I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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