he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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