I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize