I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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