I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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