I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
