Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize