that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
