Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
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