This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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