All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
