so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
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