Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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