I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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