we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize