In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
