I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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