Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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