i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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