My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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