i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
