just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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