i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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