i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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