dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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