just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize