I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize