Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
