Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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