I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
