You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
