So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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