Don't you send me to vm
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
