I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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