It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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