when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
