She's JV to your varsity
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
