I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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