Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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