There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
tell me about the fingering
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
