i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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