It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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