a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
