She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
wow bdsm is so cute
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
