So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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