just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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