Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
