You're a womanizer and a bitch.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize