What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
