Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
whose parrot is this?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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