YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
