id be glad to
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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