I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Boobs speak an international language.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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