Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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