Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
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