i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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